


Cant and Cuddles

by junko



Series: Chasing Demons [30]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst and Humor, M/M, Past Abuse, Pillow Talk, Porn, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-06
Updated: 2013-01-06
Packaged: 2017-11-23 20:59:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/626460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junko/pseuds/junko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Renji's nightmare, Byakuya attempts to make good on his promise to cuddle.  Eventually, a lot more gets promised....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cant and Cuddles

When Byakuya said his name, Renji woke with a start. It was pitch dark and it took a moment for his eyes to adjust and to remember where he was—in the captain’s bed in the master suite at the estate. Yes, there was Byakuya’s mother’s dresser and the shoji screen of the window slid open to show moonlight on the cherry orchard. Renji’s breath came in huffs and he was sweating like he’d been running for dear life. Looking around the room frantically, he tried to determine if they were in any danger. Hoarsely, he gasped, “What’s going on?”

“You were having a nightmare,” Byakuya said quietly, putting a hand softly on Renji’s chest when he’d started to get up. A gentle push urged Renji back down.

He fell back with a shuddering breath. “Oh,” Renji said. “Sorry about that.”

Byakuya was sitting up like he had been when Renji had fallen asleep, only now he was turned slightly to the side, curling towards him. Byakuya eyes watched him intently, as though searching for something. “I thought you said you weren’t prone to such things.”

“’M not usually,” Renji said, rubbing his face with his hands. He wanted to throw a pillow over his face and roll over and go back to sleep, but the way Byakuya was staring at him he knew he had to at least say, “Look, I don’t even remember what it was about anymore. It bubbled up, popped out… gone.”

Byakuya reached out and smoothed the hair away from Renji’s brow. It felt nice, the captain’s hands on him like that, so gentle and caring. Then, almost like a compulsion, they stayed to trace out the tattoos.

“It was very curious,” Byakuya said, his fingers moving automatically. Renji felt himself relaxing into the familiar ritual. “You used words I was unfamiliar with; at first I thought you were speaking an entirely different language. Then you said something I’d heard Hisana say once—some kind of street slang, I think--and I realized you must have been back in Inuzuri.”

_Tough girl, your wife, speaking thieves’ cant_ , Renji thought to himself but didn’t say. Instead, he shrugged. “Yeah, happens sometimes.”

Fingers lifted and Byakuya leaned closer to ask, “You remember none of it?”

Renji shook his head. If it was gone now, he wasn’t going to try to pull it back. Anyway, what was there to remember? Gut-wrenching fear was the sum total, maybe with accents of hunger or thirst or nausea--sometimes all at once. Running from someone who wanted something, or chasing down something he needed. Pictures and scenarios changed, but the desperate feelings were the same. If there’d been a specific trigger, it’d faded back into oblivion. Let it stay there.

Byakuya scotched down and opened his body up in a way that encouraged Renji to roll closer. Strong arms held him close. The fuck? Was he seriously getting a hug? Renji was about to wonder if the pod people had come and replaced Byakuya in the night, but, luckily, the kiss Byakuya pressed into Renji’s forehead was stiff and awkward. That bit made Renji smile fondly.

“I’m okay,” he murmured into the silk at Byakuya’s shoulder, when Byakuya seemed to actually be trying to pat his back, “And honestly? Now that I’m awake, I kind of have to piss like a racehorse. I, uh, drank _a lot_ earlier.”

“Oh, of course,” Byakuya said, releasing him. “Perhaps, when you return, I should do the same.”

Renji had started to get up out of bed and stopped. He gestured out the window with the hook of his thumb, “I could use the public stalls, if you want to go now.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. They’re at the far end of the estate near the servant’s quarters. Unless you’re planning on an extended stay, I can wait my turn.”

“I can use shunpō, you know.”

“You can also use my chamber pot.”

“You go first; I’ll wait.”

“Renji! Go.”

The snap in Byakuya’s voice brooked no further argument, so Renji pulled himself out of bed and headed to the water closet. It was a funny thing. Renji usually adored the convenience and luxury of Byakuya’s private bathroom, but he absolutely hated being the one to soil it first.

The chamber pot was an antique.

The delicate thing Renji emptied his bladder into probably cost more than all the money he’d ever made, what with that gold trim and those lacquered swans flapping around the center of it. In the dark and slightly hungover, it was hard to aim, and Renji cringed at the thought of his spray spattering any part of it. So, he lowered his stance. Soon, he crouched so far down, his knees started to shake from the effort. Any further and he’d end up sitting on it. He’d break the pot for sure then.

Cripes. It shouldn’t be this stressful to pee.

No wonder Inuzuri came oozing to the surface in this place… in this _palace_. He was pissing on gold.

Carefully, Renji shook himself off. After washing his hands in the basin, he headed back though the series of rooms in the suite to bed.

Byakuya had lit a lantern and returned to his book. He sure looked cute like that-- knees slightly up, with his nose stuck in the pages of what was probably porn. Taking advantage of the captain’s preoccupation, Renji leaned a hip against the door and took a moment to admire him. He was such a fucking beautiful man. It was unfair, really. Who was Renji ever going to find to compare? Look at him: he had flawless porcelain skin as pale as the finest alabaster—and probably as hard. Renji had rarely seen him bruised. Of course, he never took a hit. The captain was too fast, too disciplined for that. That’s why these unguarded moments were so precious, to see Byakuya with his defenses down, with his dark hair unbound and free of the kenseikan.

Peerless.

Renji loved the way when, deep into a book, Byakuya pressed a finger and his thumb to his mouth. A classic sort of ‘thinking’ pose, but for some reason it always made Renji think of a little boy, a little apprehensive about what might come next in the story and absently sucking his thumb for comfort.

Fingers left his mouth to turn the page and Byakuya glanced up. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Not long,” Renji said. Embarrassed to have been caught gawking, he ducked his head a little as he made his way back to the bed.

“I was beginning to wonder if there would be any room left in the pot,” he smiled. Setting his book aside, Byakuya pulled back the covers. “Do I need to ring for a fresh one?”

“Ugh! No,” Renji said, mortified at the idea of waking someone up to do something as demeaning as that. Crawling into bed, he hid his face under a pillow and moaned, “I said you should go first, didn’t I?”

“I was only teasing, Renji,” Byakuya said as he got out of bed.

Renji pulled the pillow down onto his chest to look at Byakuya. “Oh, right. Sorry,” he said. “I think the dream made me a little sensitive. Like, you know, this place is too fancy for a guy like me.”

“Ah.” Byakuya clearly struggled as to what to say to that. Then, he must have decided to err on the side of brevity, because he left things there and headed for the door. Just at the threshold, however, he stopped. Without turning back, he added, “You understand you’re welcome here as more than a guest.”

Renji wasn’t sure did entirely comprehend what a pronouncement like that signified, but he guessed it was a pretty big deal. “Yeah,” he said, because it seemed like he should. “Cool. Thanks.”

A slight nod and Byakuya was off to the bathroom.

#

Renji acted like the nightmare hadn’t bothered him, but the timing of it concerned Byakuya. A lot. Especially followed by acting as though he ought to hike all the way outside to the servant’s public stalls for his business? What was all this? 

Renji was never what could be classified as a peaceful sleeper. But, over the past couple of months since they’d started sharing a bed on a regular basis, Byakuya had mostly gotten used to his huffing snores, little nonsense murmurings, and all the random flinging around of various lumbering body parts. He was a strangely light sleeper, too. Sometimes Byakuya thought he was dead to the world. Try as he might, he’d be unable to pry a heavy arm from where it’d wedged into some uncomfortable spot, but then the barest creak of a floorboard as a servant passed in the hall would have Renji bolting upright reaching for Zabimaru.

That last was clearly some scar from Inuzuri.

Was the dream also? After all, the last time Byakuya was aware that Renji’d had this kind of flailing, shouting out loud dream was immediately after the alley. He’d closed up right after that, too. It had taken weeks to draw him back out.

Had just discussing what had happened that night made things ‘bubble up’ as Renji had put it?

That was certainly concerning. Byakuya knew things had been tense afterwards, but were they still so raw? Even after all the progress they’d been making?

Renji’s refusal to talk about the dream was similarly troublesome. Byakuya had a sense that if he could just get Renji to open up about whatever it was that had his subconscious so agitated, he’d have a better handle on how, exactly, he’d overstepped in the alley. Perhaps it should be obvious, but Renji really was normally so remarkably resilient and uncomplaining that Byakuya wasn’t sure which things about that night had bothered him the most.

A person could guess, but that was never wise with someone like Renji, so full of surprises at the oddest moments. For instance, how infuriatingly confusing was it that the one who’d suggested a ‘safe word’ apparently felt unworthy of using it for himself? And, tonight, apparently thought that the chamber pot was too rich for the likes of himself?

It made Byakuya’s head hurt.

Though it was entirely possible that the pounding pain between his eyebrows could be an after-effect of all the sake he’d consumed. Given how woozy he felt, Byakuya was pleased that the only way any of the alcohol had decided to come back out was into the chamber pot. After finishing cleaning off his hands, Byakuya splashed some water on his face. He clung to the counter for a long moment, gathering his strength. He’d need all of it if he was going to get any decent information out of Renji. That man would talk about almost anything, except, it seemed, what was really important to him.

Byakuya lifted his head and looked at his reflection in the mirror. Tired gray eyes stared back at him. When did he become the one in this relationship who wanted to talk?

It was unnerving, this sensation that clutched at Byakuya’s core, making everything unsteady and uncertain. He didn’t like it; though he had a sinking feeling it was … love. Otherwise, he wouldn’t care. He’d be able to go back into the bedroom and let sleeping dogs lie, as it were.

Love. What a ridiculously inconvenient emotion.

Worse, with love between them, what was he going to do when the time came to order Renji into the battle?

The answer was trust.

He would simply have to trust that baboon to make it through alive, even if it was only by the skin of his teeth. Plus, who was Byakuya fooling? There would be no need to issue any command. Renji was no green cadet, trembling at the sight of blood. He ran head first into any fight. The truly impossible order was to ask Renji to hold back, to not leap mindlessly into the fray.

That was part of what Byakuya loved about him. It was also why Byakuya found himself so desperate to work this out. Fearless Renji was sexy Renji. This thorn in his paw, whatever it was, had to come out. Tentative steps didn’t suit a magnificent beast like Renji.

On a purely pragmatic level, they would all need to be ready for the fight that loomed on the horizon like a blood red sunrise. Soon enough, Byakuya would have to let Renji go, to let him do what he did best--lead the charge, wherever the line might be drawn. Byakuya’s duty as a captain and a lover was to make sure the man out front was secure in the knowledge that what was behind was steady and true and worth giving all in order to come home to it.

Ugh.

His head.

This is what love did to him. It made him sound like a woman. He sighed and adjusted his kimono. Well, if that was how it must be, then he would use whatever beguiling skills he had available to pry information from Renji like a skilled courtesan.

He snorted. Easier to take Senbonzakura from its holder and bop the lieutenant repeatedly on the head. He had just as great a chance at getting information that way.

When he returned to the bed, Byakuya was surprised to see Renji still awake. He was lying lengthways across the bed, on his stomach, sneaking a peek at Byakuya’s book. The lines on his back drew Byakuya’s gaze to the fine, tight ass that he was unconsciously flexing as he absently pumped his legs, crossed at the ankles.

Ah. Byakuya laid a hand over the lapels of his kimono, as though to hold his desires in check. Staying on task was going to be as difficult as ever, it seemed. 

Especially given the enchanting way that Renji’s mouth hung open slightly, as though enthralled by the woodcuts or parsing out a difficult word. Regardless, his frowning concentration was precious, especially with his crimson hair spilling over his face and hunched, tiger-striped shoulders. He looked a bit like a big cat captivated by a tiny ball of yarn.

He must have sensed Byakuya’s attention, because Renji turned from the book to flash him a wide, wicked grin. He pointed at something in the pages, “Heh,” he chuckled mischievously. “We should try this.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t think either of us is flexible enough,” Byakuya said with a disappointed sigh, as he sat down on the bed and leaned over Renji’s shoulder to look at the picture in question. He checked again, “And one of them appears to be a space alien.”

“Or a demon,” Renji said tilting his head, as though to get a better angle.

Byakuya raised his brows. Was that the appeal? “Yes, perhaps so,” Byakuya said pleasantly. “If you could be any one of the three of them, which would you choose?”

Renji gave Byakuya a sharp, sidelong glance. “Is this a quiz? A test of some kind?”

“I’m merely curious,” Byakuya said, letting his hand rest comfortably on Renji’s shoulder as they continued to admire the artwork in the book. “There’s no wrong answer. I’m simply trying to get to know you better, find out what appeals to you.”

“Oh?” His frown melted into a goofy grin and he returned his attention to the woodcut with the seriousness of a scholar of great art. After some thought, he pointed to the central figure, a woman. “Okay, if I could only be one person in this picture it would be her. She’s clearly having the most fun.”

It was true that every single part of her body seemed to be being stimulated and/or filled simultaneously. 

“But, in real life,” Renji continued, “I couldn’t take that role. Requires too much concentration.”

Byakuya considered how things had gone a few hours ago, “But you have a great deal of willpower.”

“Yeah, but look at what she’s doing. I’d be useless trying to get a…” he tilted his head again and seemed to search for a description before settling on, “…person off when all the rest of that was going on. My brain kind of shorts out at a certain point, you know? That’s why I don’t mind it when you tie me to the bedpost. I can just ride it out, let go. No thinking required.”

Byakuya allowed himself a small, soft smile at that. So, there were things Renji enjoyed about what they’d done before. That was a comfort. Byakuya reached over to where Renji held the book, and flipped a few pages back. “What do you think of this one?”

He let out a short laugh. “Yeah, I saw that one while you were in the bathroom. I knew it was probably a favorite.”

“And? Would you ever do something like that?” Byakuya tried to keep his voice even, but he was sure his interest was obvious.

“You’d really want to?” Renji said, his eyes completely riveted to the picture. “You want to watch me with a girl? Or, am I the girl in this one too, and you just want me with another lover?”

“Your choice,” Byakuya said. “Admittedly, I’d be less jealous if the other party were female. Though there’s a certain appeal in seeing you be the aggressor with another man.”

“Oh… so I could… huh,” Renji seemed to think about this in a way that made his breathing shallow. Finally, he said, “Okay, but who? I can think of some people I could talk into this—maybe. But, do you really want them knowing about us… you?”

Byakuya could feel a blush heating Renji’s body. He smiled and let his hand trail around the curve of Renji’s shoulder and down his back, “I guess it would depend on whom you’re considering.”

“A couple of months ago, I would have said Kira, no hesitation,” Renji said. He set the book down in order to give the problem his complete attention. He propped his chin against his hands. “But right now, I’m guessing even mild kink would break him deeper, especially since I ain’t planning to romance whoever we get involved in this, you know?” Renji shook his head sadly, clearly upset about his friend. 

Byakuya’s fingers returned to Renji’s shoulder as if of their own accord, and then started mapping out the lines on his back, slowly.

“Poor Kira. He used to be my go-to guy for stuff like this,” Renji sighed. After a moment, Renji went back to considering options. “You hate Yumichika, so he’s out. Plus, Ikkaku would want to watch, too, and, yeah… I don’t see that ending well. I’d love to get Hisagi, but I’m not sure how I feel about getting him completely sloshed and then using him like this, especially since he’s into Matsumoto. She would be a great girl option, but that’s only if you want all the Seireitei know what went down.”

“Absolutely not,” Byakuya said, his lips pressing into shoulder blade. “It’s a shame that Yourichi has returned to the Human World. She’s very adventurous in this regard.”

“Yeah, but I think she’d top me,” Renji said, and then after a moment added, “Somehow.”

“She would. And she would tease me. Yes, suddenly it’s very unsexy.” Byakuya’s lips were now following just behind his fingers, “Are all your options truly exhausted? I thought you were popular.”

“Is that code for slutty?”

Byakuya hand slipped around Renji’s ass and between his legs. “Of course not,” he said, enjoying the way Renji struggled not to squirm even as he opened his legs wider. “But surely you had lovers while you were in the Eleventh. Isn’t there an ex you would consider?”

“Ugh,” Renji grunted. Using his elbows and knees for leverage, he arched his back and lifted himself up further so Byakuya could reach more of him. “Are you kidding? My standards were very low. I didn’t usually ask for names, just preferences.”

“Exactly,” Byakuya said. “Isn’t that the sort we need for an adventure like that?”

“Yeah, but… those guys….” Renji was clearly having trouble formulating words, so Byakuya let up on his exploration. “Ah… they’re all vicious morons. We got one of them involved, they’d go right to blackmail or Kenpachi or both.”

“I see,” Byakuya said, disappointed. “I shall have to ask one of my exes.”

#

“Wait, what?” Byakuya’s words penetrated the fog that all the sensations that fingers on taint and balls and cock had caused. Renji twisted around to try to look Byakuya in the eye, “Wait… who?”

Byakuya looked up from where he was kissing Renji’s back, and said, “A gentleman from the country, not a shinigami.”

Renji could feel the blood draining from his face. Who was this guy? How had Byakuya met him? More importantly, “You seriously want me to fuck a country gentleman? You sure I wouldn’t get arrested for that?”

“Of course we’d secure his complete cooperation beforehand. Like you, he would do it for me.”

A rival? Great. “I already hate him.”

Byakuya just smiled mysteriously. He was stretched out now with his hands on either side of Renji’s back. He returned his lips to Renji’s sides, making a shiver rush down Renji’s spine. “I can’t guarantee my friend will be to your taste, of course,” he murmured, his breath hot on skin. “If you would rather choose, we could hire a teahouse boy.”

“No,” Renji said sharply. “Forget it.”

At Byakuya’s surprised look, Renji realized his entire body had gone rigid. “It was just a suggestion, Renji—an option, in case my friend….”

“Not an option,” Renji said firmly, cutting him off. But, he didn’t want to talk about this, so he turned away. Noticing Byakuya’s book where he’d set it aside, Renji quickly flipped to another favorite he’d remembered seeing. He lifted it up and ducked his head so Byakuya could see, “But since you’re back there, any chance this could happen?”

“I’m fresh out of tentacles,” was Byakuya’s dry response. Renji was just about to make a disappointed sound when Byakuya said, “I could be persuaded to use my tongue, however....” A little demonstration had Renji ready to squeal, but it stopped abruptly as Byakuya sat back up, “If you’ll tell me why you’re so adverse to the idea of hiring a companion.”

Renji stared at the woodcut to keep from having to meet Byakuya’s eyes. “You’d really do that with your tongue? To me? There?”

A soft chuckle close to Renji’s ear, “Yes, Renji, all that. And possibly more. But only if you’ll talk to me.”

Renji did have to glance over at Byakuya’s face just to make sure he was serious. He pointed at the picture one more time. “This? For real?”

“Yes. That very thing. In fact, I believe I’ve already adequately demonstrated my willingness in this regard,” Byakuya said tersely. Renji felt a hard poke on his shoulder. “It’s a simple question, Renji. Though I would like a detailed answer. Tell me what the problem is with finding someone from a teahouse to join us in a little threesome? I would dearly like another option in case my friend is uninterested or not your type.”

Sweating hands gripped the book, and Renji kept his eyes on locked on the art. Byakuya would do this... _This....!_ _with his tongue!!_. Renji took in a long breath and found it wasn't so hard to say: “Those guys were always creeps. I don’t want us to be those guys to some kid.”

“What guys?”

“The ones that came sniffing around, upper district fucks. ‘Tourists’ looking for the little ones to abuse.”

Byakuya was silent for a long time. Finally, he asked quietly, “This happened to you?”

“Not the way you’re probably thinking. It was my choice,” Renji said, with a quick glance at Byakuya’s face. For once, he was really glad for his stoic, almost blank expression. It made it easier to tell his tale. “There was this one alley where you could go if you were willing to trade a blow job for whatever might be on offer. Sometimes it was actual cash, sometimes food or water... sometimes all you got was swift kick in the head. It was a fool’s gamble, risky barter. But, I went once or twice.” Byakuya’s hand curled around Renji’s wrist and gave him a little squeeze. Renji shook it off, irritated, and snarled, “Don’t give me your pity.” He let out his anger with a little shrug and an apologetic grimace, “Anyway, I figured out quick enough that if some guy was stupid enough to go down a dark alley with me it was his sorry ass that was going to get bashed. Then I got all his money, his clothes, and anything else I could sell, and it cost me nothing, except some bruised knuckles.”

Byakuya captured his hand again, but this time brought it to his lips. “Yes,” he smiled, taking the time to kiss along the ridge of Renji’s knuckles. “Now I pity anyone who crossed your path.”

“Damn straight,” Renji agreed.

“But you do realize the tea houses are nothing like that, don’t you?” Byakuya asked, finding other parts of Renji’s hand to kiss. “We would be well vetted before even being allowed in the door. The young men there have bodyguards to ensure their safety.”

Renji cocked an eyebrow. Did Byakuya really think it was all that different? That maybe those bodyguards didn’t also make sure the kids didn’t escape? “Yeah, okay, so you want to troll some high class whorehouse; I’m still not up for it. I told you why, so now you can kiss my ass.”

Byakuya’s eyes narrowed; the grip on Renji’s hand tightened. But, he very calmly said, “You’re not being reasonable, Renji.”

“And you’re not taking ‘no’ for an answer,” Renji pointed out. “I’m not paying for sex and I’m not having sex with someone you paid for. I don’t care if you spend five ken or five million for him. You can fuck him six ways from Sunday for all I care, but I’m not part of it. Ever.”

Byakuya was silent for a long time. Renji could sense his fury. Unrestrained reistsu around them, fluttering the pages of the book and tugging at Renji’s hair like a breeze. It took a long moment before things settled down. Then, releasing Renji’s hand, Byakuya stood up and said, “Very well. I shall have to hope Isoroku is still as adventurous as he once was.”

Renji didn’t ask where Byakuya was going. He just set the book on the bedside table and rolled back over toward his side of the bed with the intention of getting a few hours in before sunrise.

He’d just shut his eyes when something cold and metal bounced off his back. Curious, he glanced over his shoulder just in time for his peripheral vision to sense something else flying at his head. He managed to catch that. It was a small tube of lube with the sex shop’s logo on it. Renji found the other thing Byakuya had thrown at him in the bed; it turned out to be the cock ring.

“What’s this...?” Renji asked, but the rest of his question was caught in his throat. Byakuya had also brought out some handcuffs. “Wait,” Renji said sitting up, clutching the ring and the lube to his chest, “This stuff’s not in the book.”

“It’s a compromise,” Byakuya said, though he sounded kind of terse about it. “After all, I don’t have tentacles either, do I?”

Renji looked at Byakuya’s face trying to read it. Of course there was no obvious clue to how he was feeling, but Byakuya's been mad as hell a second ago. Angry sex with Byakuya never ended well for Renji. So, clearing his throat, Renji asked, “Are you sure we should really involve handcuffs if you’re this annoyed with me?”

Byakuya’s jaw flexed, but he let a sigh out his nose. “Yes, it's true. I’m deeply irritated that you’re being pig-headed about this, but I’ve reminded myself that the point of the whole this discussion was that I learn what _you_ enjoy. And….” Byakuya seemed to have to take in another deep breath before he could say, “You’re right. If it bothers you to avail yourself of perfectly above-board options, that’s your… decision. I should respect it, even if it’s _stupid_.”

Renji actually couldn’t quite contain a laugh. “Yeah, I can see the problem you’re having there, Taicho. You usually get to countermand the stupid.”

“Yes, exactly,” Byakuya said, the remainder of his tension releasing with a drop of his shoulders. “Ukitake may be right. This is thorny ground we negotiate.”

Renji nodded, and looked at the things in his hands again, “And this?”

“I honestly think it might make your experience more enjoyable. That is what you bought yourself, isn’t it? And, you just told me you didn’t mind these,” he held out the cuffs. 

“And the tongue is still going to be involved? In the places in the pictures, except on me?”

“I, Renji Abarai,” Byakuya said seriously, “Am a man of my word.”

_Thank fate for that_ , Renji thought with a smile.

**Author's Note:**

> The talking... so much talking... the sex is going to have to have its own chapter again. Sorry!


End file.
